Succumbed.

Dilemmas are all that I have-

Within and beyond. 

No black or white-

Its all grey-

Dark and light:

Indistinguishable from the other.

Merging into each other-

The two colors;

Creating a hazy picture-

Of my past, present and future.

My journey must end here-

I must go.

I do not have much left in me-

Now stranded I stand,

On the island of my love.

Helpless.

There are cracks now
In the mirror of my faith-
Now, all shall end-
I do not wait for death.

My love now remains no more-
It is all chaos,
My being will now wither away-
Slowly. Like the death of a star.

I am dying-
A slow death.
Poisoned love-
Sweetened betrayal-
Perpetual decay.
Life sucked out-
The void consumes me now.
The dark reigns-
I just lost my light.

The Un-Holy Ghost.

I am your past
You came from me
I am your future
You shall go into me.
I am your present
You wait for me.
Even in the silence of the night
When the world falls asleep
My voice resounds in your head.
Even when you sleep alone
You feel my presence around you.
Is it my ghost which surrounds you-
Or is it hallucination-
I, who, am no more-
I, who, shall be no more-
I, who has never been-
Am I the Ultimate Power?

You manifest me in the clocks,
On the dials and the glittering screens-
On the towers-
You fit in me a gong,
To tell you about all that you have lost-
That which you had-
But no more.

I, the little voice in your head-
I, the slight whiff of sanity-
I, the restraint in your heart-
I, the wizard of temptations-
I?

I am Your Being.
I am Your Ghost-
Of Past, Present and Future.

Bereft.

The silent tears,
The unspoken fears,
The anxiety of existence-
The dilemma of resistance.

The gaping holes-
Widening gradually,
Suck in the light-
Infusing darkness-
Within me and outside, too.

A black hole
In the white sky-
Or a white star
In the black cosmos-
What should I see?
My eyes are misty-
I have not had a glimpse
Nor heard the voice-
From where do I get
Myself back-

When all that I had
Was taken away by you.

Confines.

Little boxes hold us-
Those little rooms
Of identities-
Lost and claimed,
Inherited and earned.

What am I?
Who am I?
Where am I?
Am I normal?
Am I a man-
Or Am I an unseen species altogether?

Like a frog-
We perch on our own wells-
Afraid, scared.
Held by those walls
Of prejudices, judgement, notions and ideas-
We are lost,
Only to be found in our own echoes.

Consumed by the wish
To fit into a little box,
We create small rooms-
Often, without windows.

Shunning ourselves out of the little rooms-
We wish to be held back.
Comfortably numb, we sit;
Only to fall in a deeper slumber-
Losing ourselves,
While trying to define-
You, Me and They.

Just There.

You say
I chose everything.
Since childhood-
It was all about Me.

You say-
I never heard you.
I never sought to seek
What you felt.

You say-
I decided everything.
That, all that is happening-
Is all because of me.

Yes, I did.
I chose to be a human.
I chose to laugh.
I chose to make love.
I chose to have babies.

What I did not choose-
Was limits, boundaries, hatred.
What I did not listen-
Were your abuses.
What I did not decide-
Was my sex and my gender.

The way you did not have the choice
Of choosing-
Between a vagina or a penis-
I, too, did not have to make a choice-
Between being gay or straight.

I was just born
With a heart-to live,
With a mind- to think,
With a soul- to love-

I was just born.


P.S.: Being a homosexual is neither a phase nor a choice. Its just there- like everything else.

Exclusion.

Because all that I have
Is a heart-
A dream-
A moment-
A wish.

Like a fish-
I glide in the waters
Of my own questions-
No answers. None found.

The dull sea.
The grey of the water-
Surround me.
And what do I have?

Just another day-
To think, to die, to breathe.
None shall satisfy me-
There is no body so powerful-
What I have, I never gave away-

So even if you own-
Hector's armor-
My tears shall never be yours.